In Gestalt therapy, developed by Fritz Perls in the mid-20th century, the emphasis lies in cultivating awareness in the present moment — the “here and now” — as a gateway to authentic living. It is within this framework that the subtle but significant differences between answering and reacting, or receiving and taking, begin to unfold.
At the core of Gestalt thought is the idea that most of our suffering comes not from what happens to us, but from how we respond — often unconsciously. A reaction is automatic, a patterned behavior rooted in past experiences, emotional conditioning, or unresolved conflicts. It is what emerges when we are not fully present. We react when a tone of voice reminds us of a parent’s disapproval, when a question triggers our self-doubt, or when a challenge awakens an old fear.
Answering, on the other hand, is a deliberate, grounded choice that arises when we are aware of our experience in real-time. It reflects maturity, presence, and ownership. The Gestalt therapist doesn’t just ask “What do you feel?” but “What do you notice about what you’re feeling?” Through that inquiry, we learn to stay with discomfort, to observe it, and then — when we’re ready — to choose a response that is aligned with who we truly are, rather than who we were conditioned to be.
As Gestalt therapist Dan Bloom puts it:
“In Gestalt therapy, awareness is the medium through which the individual experiences their wholeness. To answer, rather than react, is to reclaim agency.”
This distinction is mirrored in how we approach the concept of receiving versus taking. In the Gestalt view, receiving is a fluid, co-created process. It acknowledges the relationship between self and other, between self and environment. It allows us to be impacted, to digest, to integrate. When a compliment is received, it lands. When beauty is received, it changes us.
Taking, however, can be a form of control. It often implies force, entitlement, or preconception. We “take” when we operate out of scarcity, fear, or a need to dominate the moment — often bypassing the vulnerability required to truly receive.
Gestalt therapists often guide clients through experiments that explore this very dynamic. A client might be asked to reach for something and then receive it from another’s hands. The subtle shifts in posture, breath, and internal resistance reveal a lifetime’s worth of habits about control, openness, trust, and contact. This somatic wisdom — the language of the body — becomes the site of change.
The Gestalt concept of the contact boundary is also central here. It’s the invisible threshold where we meet the world — and where the world meets us. Healthy contact means knowing when to move forward, when to withdraw, when to open, and when to assert. If we’re reacting, we might burst through the boundary or collapse into passivity. If we’re answering, we are aware — and thus, free to choose how we meet life.
Fritz Perls once famously said:
“Lose your mind and come to your senses.”
It’s an invitation — to pause, to breathe, to feel — before acting. In a world that prizes speed, this is radical.
Receiving vs. Taking: Insights from Sufism
Sufism, the mystical branch of Islam, offers profound insights into the concepts of receiving and taking. Sufis perceive the universe as a manifestation of divine love, where every element reflects the presence of the Divine. In this context, receiving is an act of openness and surrender to the divine flow, embracing what is given with gratitude and humility. Taking, conversely, implies a forceful acquisition, potentially disrupting the harmony between the self and the cosmos .
The practice of Samāʿ, a Sufi ritual involving music and movement, exemplifies the art of receiving. Through this practice, Sufis aim to transcend the ego and attune themselves to the divine rhythm, allowing spiritual truths to be received rather than seized .
Humanism: Embracing Responsibility in a Finite Universe
Humanism, grounded in reason and ethics, emphasizes the importance of conscious choice in responding to the universe. Without reliance on supernatural beliefs, humanists advocate for leading ethical lives that contribute to the greater good. This philosophy encourages individuals to receive life’s experiences with reflection and to take actions that are informed by empathy and responsibility
In the humanist view, the universe is understood through scientific inquiry, and meaning is derived from human connections and achievements. By consciously choosing to engage with the world in a thoughtful manner, individuals can create purposeful lives that resonate with their values .
Buddhism: Mindful Engagement with the Universe
Buddhism teaches that the universe is in a constant state of flux, governed by the law of impermanence. Rather than reacting impulsively, Buddhists practice mindfulness to observe experiences without attachment or aversion. This mindful awareness allows for a receptive state of being, where one can receive life’s moments with equanimity and respond with compassion .
The concept of dependent origination in Buddhism illustrates how phenomena arise interdependently. Understanding this interconnectedness fosters a sense of responsibility in one’s actions, encouraging responses that contribute to the well-being of all beings.
Taoism: Harmonizing with the Tao
Taoism emphasizes living in harmony with the Tao, the fundamental principle that underlies the universe. This philosophy advocates for wu wei, or effortless action, where one aligns with the natural flow rather than exerting force. In this context, receiving involves openness to the Tao’s guidance, while taking suggests resistance to its course .
By attuning to the Tao, individuals can respond to life’s circumstances with grace and adaptability. This harmonious engagement fosters balance and tranquility, allowing one to navigate the complexities of existence with ease .
A Reflective Inquiry
In contemplating these diverse perspectives, consider:
“Am I engaging with the universe through conscious answers or unconscious reactions? Do I receive life’s offerings with openness, or do I take them with resistance?”
Reflecting on these questions may illuminate the path toward a more intentional and harmonious existence.
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