Interference in communications

This year’s exam; I had interactions with individuals who spoke and made comments on my behalf without my knowledge and consent. I perceived this situation as quite surprising and disturbing. However, I also regarded it as another area for personal growth and development.

Interference in communications by people who believe they are preventing problems or acting in the best interest of others can be a complex issue. Let’s break down the various aspects involved:

  1. Analyzing the interrupters: Interrupters are individuals who intervene in conversations or communications because they perceive potential negative consequences if the communication continues unchecked. They may be driven by a variety of motivations, such as concern for the well-being of others, a desire to maintain harmony, a sense of responsibility, or a need for control.
  2. Effects of interference: Interference in communication can lead to both positive and negative outcomes. On one hand, it might prevent misunderstandings, conflicts, or harmful actions. On the other hand, it can hinder personal growth, impede open dialogue, and undermine the autonomy and confidence of the individuals involved.
  3. The appropriateness of interference and politeness: Whether interference is appropriate or polite depends on the context, intent, and sensitivity of the interveners. Politeness is crucial when intervening to avoid coming across as overbearing or disrespectful. People should consider whether their involvement is truly necessary and whether it respects the boundaries and autonomy of the communicators.
  4. Acting on behalf of others without permission: This is a controversial aspect. While some situations may warrant immediate action to prevent harm, generally, it is essential to respect the agency of others and seek their consent before acting on their behalf. Jumping in without permission may infringe upon their right to express themselves and handle their own affairs.
  5. The true need behind interference: The true need behind interference can vary widely. Some individuals may genuinely believe they are protecting others, while others might seek to exert control or avoid their discomfort with potential conflicts. In some cases, it might stem from a genuine desire to help, but it can also be influenced by unconscious biases and a lack of trust in others’ abilities to handle situations.
  6. The perspective of psychiatrists: Psychiatrists and mental health professionals might view interference in communication through various lenses. Some interventions may be seen as helpful and appropriate, particularly if there are safety concerns or if someone’s well-being is at risk. However, mental health professionals also emphasize the importance of empowering individuals to communicate and solve their problems independently whenever possible.

In conclusion, interference in communication is a complex topic with no one-size-fits-all answer. It requires careful consideration of the specific circumstances, intentions, and potential consequences. While there may be instances where intervention is necessary and helpful, respecting others’ autonomy and seeking permission whenever possible is crucial to maintaining healthy and respectful communication dynamics.

Interference in family communications can have significant impacts on relationships and dynamics within the household. Let’s explore some common causes and effects of interference along with examples:

Causes of Interference:

  1. Protective Instincts: Family members may interfere in communications out of a protective instinct, believing they know what’s best for another family member. For example, a parent might meddle in their adult child’s life decisions, thinking they are safeguarding them from potential mistakes.
  2. Control Issues: Some individuals in the family may feel the need to exert control over others’ actions and decisions. This can manifest as overbearing behavior, attempting to dictate what others should do or say.
  3. Lack of Trust: Interference can occur when there is a lack of trust among family members. For instance, parents might closely monitor and interrupt their teenager’s communications with friends because they don’t trust their judgment.
  4. Fear of Conflict: Interference might arise from a fear of conflict and an attempt to maintain harmony within the family. For example, a family member might interrupt discussions about sensitive topics to avoid potential arguments.
  5. Feeling Superior: Some individuals may believe they have superior knowledge or wisdom, leading them to interfere in others’ conversations to impart their views.

Effects of Interference:

  1. Resentment and Frustration: Constant interference can lead to resentment and frustration among family members. Those being intervened may feel patronized or undervalued, while the interveners might feel unappreciated if their efforts are not well-received.
  2. Communication Breakdown: Interference can hinder open and honest communication within the family. When individuals feel their thoughts and feelings are being dismissed or invalidated, they may become reluctant to express themselves.
  3. Diminished Autonomy: Family members subjected to interference may feel their autonomy and independence are curtailed, impacting their self-esteem and decision-making abilities.
  4. Strained Relationships: Interference can strain relationships, causing distance and disconnect among family members. Over time, this can lead to a breakdown in family cohesion.
  5. Stunted Personal Growth: When communication is frequently disrupted, family members may miss opportunities for personal growth and learning from their experiences.

Examples:

  1. Parental Overprotection: A parent continually monitors their adult child’s phone conversations and social media interactions, believing they are safeguarding them from potential harm.
  2. Siblings’ Control: An older sibling continuously interrupts and dictates how their younger sibling should interact with their friends, believing they are acting in their sibling’s best interest.
  3. Interference to Avoid Conflict: During a family discussion about financial matters, one family member consistently changes the topic whenever disagreements arise, to avoid potential conflicts.
  4. Grandparent’s Unwanted Advice: A grandparent frequently offers unsolicited parenting advice to their adult children, leading to tension and frustration within the family.
  5. Cultural Expectations: In a multicultural family, certain members may interfere in conversations between others to enforce cultural norms and traditions.

In summary, interference in family communications can stem from various underlying reasons and have diverse effects on relationships. Encouraging open and respectful communication, setting healthy boundaries, and acknowledging each family member’s autonomy are essential in fostering a supportive and harmonious family environment.


There are several books that delve into the topic of “interference in communications” from various perspectives. Here are some recommended books that explore this subject:

  1. Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler This book offers practical advice on how to handle crucial conversations effectively, including dealing with interference, emotions, and achieving positive outcomes.
  2. Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen Exploring the challenges of communication and how to navigate difficult conversations, this book addresses interference in dialogue and ways to approach conflicts constructively.
  3. The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You’re Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed, or Desperate by Harriet Lerner Focusing on improving communication in relationships, this book helps readers understand the barriers to effective communication and how to overcome them.
  4. Crucial Accountability: Tools for Resolving Violated Expectations, Broken Commitments, and Bad Behavior by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler Building on the principles of “Crucial Conversations,” this book addresses interference when accountability is compromised and provides strategies to address such situations.
  5. Messages: The Communication Skills Book by Matthew McKay, Martha Davis, and Patrick Fanning This book covers a wide range of communication skills, including dealing with interference, active listening, assertiveness, and resolving conflicts.
  6. I’m Right, You’re Wrong, Now What?: Break the Impasse and Get What You Need by Xavier Amador Addressing conflicts and misunderstandings, this book explores how to effectively communicate, understand different perspectives, and find common ground.
  7. That’s Not What I Meant!: How Conversational Style Makes or Breaks Relationships by Deborah Tannen This book explores the impact of conversational styles on communication, helping readers understand potential sources of interference and miscommunication.
  8. The Art of Communicating by Thich Nhat Hanh Drawing from mindfulness practices, this book offers insights into deepening understanding, empathy, and compassion in communication, which can help reduce interference in conversations.

These books provide valuable insights and practical strategies for navigating communication challenges, understanding interference, and fostering healthier and more effective dialogue in various contexts.

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